Honey, We Need To Talk... Conflict Coach, Melody Brooke tells us why men want to run and hide when they hear these 5 little words...
[Music Playing] Jennifer: Okay so here is the question. Do all men get angry or dismissive when you want to talk about relationship, you know that kind honey we need to talk, that kind of thing. Dan: Oh, boy! We got to talk about our relationship. [Music Playing] Melody: Well you know, I think it puts most man are defensive because it scares them because they do not know how to answer that question without causing a problem. So, they tend to like push you away and try to avoid it. They do not want to consult protective place because they do not know what is going to happen if you if ever you are giving the right answer. Jennifer: So, they are concerning about to giving you the right answers? Dan: Everything is fine. You want to mess with that. Melody: You know, they do not want to start a fight. When they are afraid of saying that they were not being at and it is going to hurt your feelings, you going to cry and then really do not know what to do. So, for the most part, most men have a little difficulty with feeling words anyway, and so when you are ask him that question you are like, “Oh, no. What is the right answer?” It scares them. Dan: It is just multiple choice, somebody help me. Jennifer: So they are not like women going to get touch with their feelings so, like, “Oh, my god, what is the right answer is a test”. Dan: (voice overlap) Jennifer: It is test? Melody: Yes, it is so. Dan: Yes. Jennifer: You do not know many times ever end up from then, I is like, “Oh, god another test”. Melody: Yes. And, they do not know that you want to say, “You know, I just love you sweetheart”. They do not know what you really wanted. Dan: Oh, yes. Melody: And, they really just want the affirmation that you are okay, that you are working well together. Jennifer: So, how do you do that? How do you that without freaking the guys out? Dan: Without making to more that hide under little dog or something you know. Melody: It is turkey. You just have to say it a way that does not scare him. Dan: Like with that, “We should talk our relationship”. Melody: Yes. Dan: Those are bad words to use. Jennifer: Can I just say, “You know, I am just think really good about us”. Dan: Go straight for the need rather than we will talk about our relationship, run! Melody: Yes, I just say, “Sweetie, I am just going really going about good about us. It is just you know, it is okay for him. Jennifer: Okay. Dan: As a guy, we like (voice overlap) like that. That is cool. That is right, I like that. Jennifer: Okay, we got it. [Music Playing]