Wedding Advice: What is a Relationship Expert and how can they help you and your marriage? What if you’re preparing for marriage and want to be sure your love can go the distance? Louise Van Der Velde offers some invaluable tips and advice.
A relationship expert is somebody that helps people obviously with their relationship to help them feel better. When people tend to go looking for relationship experts, it’s usually when they’ve gotten really into trouble. It’s a shame that they leave it that long really because there’s a lot—gets to that point to really help people support them with their lack of communication. Relationships will always come to this point. Most of the time where literally, one or other of the partners not feeling nurtured and they’re not feeling loved. If he did this and this is what I hear time and time again, if he only did this, I’d feel good. If she only did that and there’s such frustration because this guy often say, “Yeah, I’ve got you now. I took her there and I gave her this, and I did that for her.” The point is, he’s not feeling of her life strategy. We all have our own life strategy. Now it will be one of the three things. What is it and you ask yourself this question. What is it that makes you feel totally loved? Is it to be taking places in both things? Is it those special words said in a especial way? Is it that touch in that certain place? Ask yourself, which one of those three things it is and then let your partner know which one it is. Because if they can be saying all the words under the sun and if you all look strategies to be touched in a certain place, those words are just not going to hit the button that makes you go, “I am totally loved.” Number one, don’t let the demands on the other person for what you need. If you need to feel more nurtured, more loved, how can you get more nurtured and more loved yourself? It’s down to you to make yourself feel as good as you possibly can because then you’re in a position of being able to give that energy, that positivity in the relationship. Number two is how much are you giving to the relationship? And people say, “Well, it’s 50-50.” You know 50-50. Well, 50-50 is not going to work because then you’re going to get you waiting for the other 50 or the other 40 or the other 60, whatever it is, the other 60 coming back. And you’re waiting for something always coming back so go out and both of you make a plan to give a 100%. As far as sex goes, very powerful, energetic release is happened. People don’t realize why sex is such an important part of a relationship. They kind of know it is. What happens when those two bodies come together? You’ll actually, and at the point of orgasm, emotional problems and issues are actually blown away. You can actually feel it happened and if you think about it, the next day, you feel all lovey-dovey and it blows away those problems, those you know little nitpicky things that people get at. So loads as much as possible of sex and if you’ve gone of it then think about ways where you can begin to make things sensual again. The couples that are out there are in their first year of marriage, this is a crucial time and the advice that I would give you is to anchor and by that, I mean trigger into you and I’ll show you how. I will tell you a very simple way that you can do this. Those positive times that you’re having, the good times, every time you laugh, every time you reminisce, every time you have a little bit of magic, then just touch your partner like with just on the shoulder in a certain way. Probably for about five seconds and when you see them in that state of happy, joyous time, just—it’s called anchoring. Begin to anchor and as many positive times as you can when you’re having the good times, when you’re talking about the good times, anchor them in. So that when times are not so good, not that almost happens that way but later you can begin to trigger these times again.