What exactly is that itch? Lice. Lice? LICE!!!! Headlice are literally the bane of a parent's existence. But should we really be so afraid? The Dads take on this head scratcher. Distributed by Tubemogul.
Clay Nichols: Welcome to the Lounge, where today we are going to be discussing a crisis that has beset my little neighborhood. So a crisis that's galvanized the community in a way that has the stay-at-home moms surging through the streets, protesting with flaming brands. They are upset, they are getting together and acting to get change, because at our elementary school some kids have head lice. Now, head lice. Brad Powell: Ridiculous, humorous, capitous. Clay Nichols: No, head lice. This is got the ladies of my neighborhood so upset. You can't believe it, you can't send me an email. You want to know why? Because I have got 200 emails from moms at the school upset because their kid may get a bug on their head. Brad Powell: They are not bugs. Clay Nichols: These people are more worried about head lice than they are ebola, global warming and bird flu combined. It is a full on panic. Brad Powell: Well, they are gross, sure, they are gross, but they are not bugs. Clay Nichols: They are not bugs? Brad Powell: No, they are parasites. They live on your head and they suck your blood. Clay Nichols: Okay. Brad Powell: Do you know how often they eat? Clay Nichols: No, I don't know how often they eat. Brad Powell: Every four hours. Every four hours. Have you ever had lice before? Clay Nichols: No. Brad Powell: Okay. If you had had lice before. Clay Nichols: How am I going to get lice Brad? That would be the loneliest, freaking lice, that will be like the lice stuck in the -- I don't have a rug. Can they live in your back hair? Because then, oh hey, go ahead just delete that visual image from your mind. Brad Powell: Okay. If you did have lice and they bit you, would you feel it? Clay Nichols: Yes. Brad Powell: No, you wouldn't feel it, because they inject some kind of anesthetic into your head when they bite you. Clay Nichols: Okay. Does it kill you is my question, does it kill you? Brad Powell: No. Clay Nichols: Because otherwise why are these parents freaking out so bad about a couple of bugs. Brad Powell: Well, they are gross, I mean they are gross. Clay Nichols: I mean, these ladies are just dragging their kids out of school and doing like a prophylactic head shave on their kid. You know what I mean? Brad Powell: They are putting condoms on kids' heads? That's completely unnecessary. They have got these no knit policies in schools, completely unnecessary too. Clay Nichols: What do you mean? Brad Powell: Do you know what a knit is? We just talked about that? Clay Nichols: I know what a nitwit is. Brad Powell: It's a lice egg. Let's do a little lice fact or fiction. Clay Nichols: Lice fact or fiction. Let's go, that sounds great. Brad Powell: Yeah. You have got knits. Clay Nichols: What do you -- how do you know about lice? Brad Powell: You need to know about these things, man. Come on, you have got kids. You are having it right now, you are kids are in the school that have some lice, you need to know the facts about lice. Here's one deal, fact or fiction. Got knits, you are going to get lice. Clay Nichols: Yes. Knits are lice eggs, so if you have got the eggs that means you are going to have -- why are you shaking your head? Brad Powell: No, no. Only one in five kids that have the knits actually develop adult lice. Clay Nichols: But that doesn't make any sense. So the eggs -- Brad Powell: They just don't hatch and they -- Clay Nichols: Lice make lots of eggs that don't hatch or what? Brad Powell: Yeah. They are not very good hatchers. So one in five actually develop the actual adult lice. Clay Nichols: Do you like subscribe to like play lice or something like that for the articles? Brad Powell: No, this is very interesting, interesting. So these no knit policies, these no knit bans in school are keeping a lot of kids out of school. It shouldn't be in school because they are not going to get lice. Clay Nichols: Knit weekly. I saw that in your Inbox. So that's a fiction. Brad Powell: That's a fiction. If your child gets lice, do you have to clean everything in the house, you scrub, throw out all the furniture. Clay Nichols: This may be the only thing that explains to me the hysteria is that when your kid comes home with the lice, you have got to bag all the stuffed animals, each one, you have got to bag them up, and tied up, you have got to clean all the bedding and you got to cover everything in plastic and then you have to burn the house down. Brad Powell: No. Wrong. Fiction, fiction. You see, what you need to do is take your pillowcases and throw them in the dryer for a little bit, but you don't need to do all this other stuff. You can't get lice from teddy bears or sitting down on the sofa, because the lice that would fall off your child's head onto these things, they are sick or they are elderly, they can't jump that high. Clay Nichols: Wait, wait, wait, somebody is doing like exit interviews with lice that's on the floor. Brad Powell: Head to head contact. Clay Nichols: Who's job is that? How do you know it's a sick lice that's got fever? Brad Powell: They are not going to leave, they got the good stuff here, they are not leaving. Clay Nichols: Give me one more. Brad Powell: Let's see, one more. Lice like long hair better than short hair. Clay Nichols: Well, now you got me thinking about it. Yes because -- well, I mean it's all -- everybody is worried about the girls and their long hair. So yes, long hair, lice like that, it's more environment. Brad Powell: No, fiction, fiction. They like short hair better because it's a long way -- you see the hair down here, long way to climb to get to the restaurant. Like climbing to the top of a restaurant that's on top of the building, you have to climb the building to get to it. They want the short hair so they just jump right down to the scalp. So short hair, they like it better than long hair, and they like clean hair better than dirty hair. Clay Nichols: I have got a proposal. Brad Powell: Okay. Clay Nichols: Instead of getting all worried about various ways to get rid of lice, I think we should take a lesson from our chimpanzee cousins, and we should just groom one another. Brad Powell: Picking and grooming. Clay Nichols: Get together with your children and groom them. If you have got multiple children, let them groom each other. It's quality time you spend just quietly grooming one another. Brad Powell: Yeah. Clay Nichols: So think about that if your kids get lice. Brad Powell: Here is what you have got to do. You have got to do -- I don't think that's lice. All you have to do, comb your child's hair, go get some of the over the counter lice shampoo, that usually works, it's gone in a couple of day, no big deal. Clay Nichols: So everything you ever needed to know about lice, here in the Lounge. The whole thing made my head itch. Brad Powell: It should, but you are right, your back. Arms could itch like that. Clay Nichols: I have got to go get a wax.