Description

Nina Sebastiane discusses the topics of twins and how to help them develop their individuality.

Transcript

Nina Sebastiane: We've all seen twins and triplets who have been dressed by their parents in identical clothes very cute. But is it a good thing or should parents and multiples be trying to instill a sense of individuality in their children. Sarah Swegsda from Mumsbe and Delyth Raffell from Twins UK joined me in this studio now with of course -- thanks for coming in. Thank you. So, how come, you must have been inducted when your children born, you have to obviously, so, even more so to dress them in that matching pink thing. Delyth Raffell: No, never. Not from day one. I didn't want them to dress them like same because its two different children, its too different things, and I want them to develop their own personalities, I mean they have anyway, I think you can't stop that. I don't think if you had a baby today and they were 18 months, you wouldn't dress them necessarily the same so I think it just helps to start off as mean to go on, so later on they don't get used to always having the same cloth, but obviously I'm a girl so I'm also, then Sarah. Nina Sebastiane: What would you like to use Sarah with you know boy and a girl because actually we should say this that definitely at one point was possibly going to be another boy. Sarah Swegsda: She was. Often she will search for two weeks, she was a boy and I actually -- of clothes, but they wearing to be -- you know and we had a couple of things that with the same. I don't think because they were in the sand or something we just -- and but seems obviously, we found she was a girl. Well, I just went mad because I'm very pink. So, it's just like frilly pink and very, more pink. Nina Sebastiane: There is another story that you told me before we were rolling cameras, which is that they were going to be -- Michael and Oven. Sarah Swegsda: Thank god. Yes. But he did change that and came out to go, but yeah, he was still quiet, I mean she was going to be Ovena and he was going to be Michael. Nina Sebastiane: So, I mean with twins you know that has the perception change, so these days let's say 25 years ago. Delyth Raffell: I think so. Sarah Swegsda: I think, I mean years ago you had to -- and the silver cross they are willing to do really only the -- around and it was one twin one side and the twin the other side. And you clearly knew that there was no mistaking and they dress them as same, you know everything be very much identical -- Delyth Raffell: Some of the names. Sarah Swegsda: Yeah. Delyth Raffell: And things that are on that -- Sarah Swegsda: Now, it's more, you know I think people are recognizing and they shouldn't be -- no that I shouldn't be dressing the same and it is noise on occasions, but you have to remember these are two individual people. They deserve by individuality it is noise when he was oh, I got twins and yeah, he is lovely and your -- Nina Sebastiane: But if you get walk in the streets -- Sarah Swegsda: -- a time and you really, you just want to ride right people and you know -- Delyth Raffell: You know it's probably the first six months. Sarah Swegsda: He think kind of mom give us a break, you know we are trying to get -- or escrow whatever -- Nina Sebastiane: Factor in another hour and you -- Sarah Swegsda: Yeah, you have to try. Delyth Raffell: She thought about coming assigned; two girls, not identical. This is the way that it takes -- they really ask you the more -- Sarah Swegsda: Yeah. They want to know everything. And I'm got him aimful. Nina Sebastiane: So, what would you, what advices can you give in terms of frustrating individuality then? Delyth Raffell: Yeah. I think when you're pregnant whether or not you find out the sex that you're having and it depends on what you want to know, but think about the names that you're going to use so that they don't -- some people even have. Nina Sebastiane: Million -- Delyth Raffell: Yeah, you know all aged twins -- Sarah Swegsda: Probably. Delyth Raffell: Some people do the backward things with Adrian and Nadia or it's kind of they, I mean personally wouldn't never go for the same letter just because of things later on medications and pores and things that are going to mixed up and obviously it can be more important. Nina Sebastiane: Well, I've got some stuff from your website, which I've had a little practice well, you know, I mean some tips for twin individuality, you know don't refer to them as you, so sort of call them the twins. Sarah Swegsda: It is hard because I have set in the past oh, yeah, you need to pick twins up from nursery or whatever, and then I think you know. So, I actually developed -- knife in the -- and that's what I called, you know I have mainly you know that line, but its -- Nina Sebastiane: When it's facing you know removed and punish you know individually and don't -- again it's the unit, isn't it? We all have this perception of children are multiple to be the same, but they not. How did you encourage that? Sarah Swegsda: Ritually she got me to figure out which one -- actually was that somebody drawn in the wall upstairs -- and they had hair and eyes all over the face. So, we knew straight away who it was because this one is that anyone that could do the hair and the eyes -- circle. So we use reverse psychology -- not me. So, well, we think it's really good. It's me -- our daughter is really, really proud of you, actually you know -- Nina Sebastiane: Well, let's -- did your mommy dress you up the same? Did your mommy dress you together or do you dress differently? Sarah Swegsda: What's your favorite outfit Bethany? Take them out. What's your favorite outfit is it a football kit? Bethany: England. Nina Sebastiane: And anyways, what do you like? Sarah Swegsda: What's your favorite? What's your favorite tracky bottom? What's the reason on the tracky bottom? Why is it? Unknown Speaker: England. Nina Sebastiane: Was that England? England as well. So, you do like dressing up the same, but has for different reasons or anything? Sarah Swegsda: He is out the ballerina shoes. Nina Sebastiane: So, I've got some other stuff that you guys have given us an advice you know point out price unique characteristics celebrate, you know individual achievements and also you know as suppose at stage you know they're developing different groups of friends in school. Right? Sarah Swegsda: And interest. Delyth Raffell: Yeah, and I think I should encourage, I mean themselves -- Sarah has haven't, but its really difficult to do this plate because particularly, I mean if you are at home, maybe you are the mom at home on your own house, if you've got a Nanny she has told you tend obviously take two children everywhere you go, but really to try and find some separate time, so they do two different activities, they spent time even with their grandparents one wee, do the next. It just helps to -- Nina Sebastiane: Again, you are not treating them as a unit as a double act. Sarah Swegsda: If we need to get know -- you know, my two are completely different on their own. Nysan is a typical boy and a very boisterous child when he is in a confident environment when he is me and it's not known because he has got his sister she is an angel, he is like let's just take out, you know and he is a completely different child and he is getting know and he actually enjoy them as an individual because they all completely different. Delyth Raffell: And I think enjoy the difference, I mean I've got two girls, but completely different and you loof the muscle. Nina Sebastiane: Again, if they're non-identical twins, you know as suppose we would have to be in the session let you know, well, I've got -- another child on the way, they can be very separate just because they're born in the same day, it doesn't necessarily mean you know -- so, both setup twin websites and twins businesses Mums2be and Twins UK. Why did you have a need to do this? Sarah Swegsda: There wasn't anything. Delyth Raffell: There wasn't anything, particularly on this sort of two elements to both our businesses. This is to support and advice the parents need for all pregnancy and beyond the first change, it's still continued -- and then there is the particle size and with Sarah, she obviously has the shops that people come in every week. I get advice as well as we will see a range of -- which is actually a quite difficult food for twins to see a range of -- Nina Sebastiane: I mean if there so -- suppose that pregnancy about the so on, but did you find that there was real a lack then? Sarah Swegsda: There is nothing, there is, I mean to put -- it is not bad 3.5 years old. We all looking at setting up that business that will create a full parents, multiples and pregnant, we will do parent -- and we want to do it nationwide because I'm concerned about the level of women, I've coming into my shop, and you know Delyth came down last night and she stayed with me. I took a phone call from a mom and you know she is struggling, you know that's on my mobile and that's I had caused trouble -- at night and that's power of my job, you know that's a developed you know, but it's -- Delyth Raffell: We found a such a gap for people who want things the twins and triplets and higher and even more so lead is support, advice, reinsurance they need build that confidence that, yes, you can mange. We'll help you to mange and that's what we try and do both through, you know phone support and website try and just give you some hard hints to help you prepared -- Sarah Swegsda: Just be there on the end and side that actually is perfectly normal to feel that you want to hold to and you had enough and IVF is actually a huge issue for some ladies because yes, you know I did have IVF and I've got latest at IVF, and it's the most important thing is they won't bought baby, but they didn't buy into having to, and then they have two and their live changes and financially the burden you have to realize the burden financially and you have to work through that when to stand it all and you know we can advice on that because the amount of women I had to coming and -- entitled to certain things and it's like we are not a fax sheet, also like don't you posing up front sheet. This is what your complaints this is what you can get. Nina Sebastiane: Yeah. They sort of going to have to stop you that. Thank you so much for coming in and talking about your twins and sharing your twins as well as Sarah, Delyth making it better. Sarah Swegsda: Thank you. Nine Sebastiane: She is drawing our studio.