How to Name a Baby
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Picking a handle for your kid certainly ranks up there in terms of parental responsibilities, so, please, don't decide on a moniker before watching this video. Our unique naming system minimizes grade school humiliation, career damage and problems getting a date. DadLabs ep 465 brought to you by BabyBjorn. Distributed by Tubemogul.

Transcript


Daddy Brad: There are moments in parenting when the stakes are high, when you feel like you are setting the course for the rest of your child's life. Daddy Clay: Like the moment at which you are trying to decide whether or not to name him Albert Harmon after your maternal great uncle. Daddy Brad: That's why this week in the lab we are talking about the fine art and exact size of picking baby names. Daddy Clay: Today's show is brought to you by Baby Bjorn. Even if you don't decide to name your child Ella, Emma, Alias or Hugo which of course are the most popular baby names in Sweden your little Ernestina or Harmon can have the benefit of tremendous Swedish design; Baby Bjorn. Daddy Brad: Now we kid about Harmon but what's really in a name? Daddy Clay: Well you know there is a recent article in social science quarterly which linked really unpopular boy's names with juvenile delinquency. Daddy Brad: Lots of little hood-lumps out there named Ralph. Daddy Clay: Yes so, Brad. Picking a baby name can be one of those warm and tender moments when couples come together to celebrate their expanding family. Daddy Brad: There can also be lots of yelling and throwing at one another. Daddy Clay: Yeah, so to set the right tone, try this. Pick up a nice baby name journal, right. It is a thoughtful thing to do and will be useful if you have more children in the future. Daddy Brad: Then break the ice; come up with the funniest sort of absolute worst name to go with your last name. Daddy Clay: For me Nicholas Woody would be a bad choice. Daddy Brad: Tickles Nicholas -- Daddy Clay: It is not a -- that's not a name though, that is silly. I think with you maybe Rowell Powell that would doesn't really roll of the tongue, you know what I mean Rowell Powell -- Daddy Brad: I am thinking -- Penny. Daddy Clay: Penny Powell would also be really that -- don't throw out your mother-in-law's name. That would be a bad idea. Well then maybe try like movie stars, celebrity baby names Anchorage Disney. Daddy Brad: Peechis Frisco. Daddy Clay: Squirrel Mudpatch. Daddy Brad: Tacoma Spaceshot. Daddy Clay: Yeah and you know one of the things that's really popular these days city names. In 2007 of the 1000 most popular baby names in United States of America, 25 were names of cities with populations greater than 100,000. Brad I got a quiz for you, are you ready? Daddy Brad: Yeah. Daddy Clay: Can you name 5 of those cities? Ready, go. Daddy Brad: Chad. Daddy Clay: Yes. Daddy Brad: Phoenix Daddy Clay: Yes. Daddy Brad: Austin. Daddy Clay: Yes. Daddy Brad: Houston. Daddy Clay: Yes. Daddy Brad: Dubuque. Daddy Clay: No. Daddy Brad: Saint Paul. Daddy Clay: No, those aren't, that's - Daddy Brad: Boy z. Daddy Clay: Those aren't names. So 4 to 5 which is really, that's 80% which is probably the best grade you have ever gotten. Other popular names are Savanna, Madison; give it up for Daddy Troy. Well Madison reference, Lincoln. Daddy Brad: Portland. Daddy Clay: Of course Eugene and Elizabeth, like Elizabeth, New Jersey, like that shouldn't even really count. Daddy Brad: Seattle. Daddy Clay: It is not on there. Daddy Brad: Then the real work begins. Start out with family names. A deep sense of family connectedness is healthy for kids and it also brings up great stories about family history. Now on the down side you may run or just going to hurt somebody's feelings and you have to maintain kind of equity between the families. But, I think it is well worth the risk. Daddy Clay: Now there are shelves of books and dozens of websites dedicated to nothing but baby names. All you have to do is Google the phrase baby name and you will be swimming in the resources; you will have more baby names that you could ever imagine. Now there may actually be some utilities here and that these kinds of sites and books were introduced into the conversations some names that you might not otherwise have considered. Now once you have got your shortlist of baby names you definitely want to cross reference those with popular pet names at babynames.com. This will prevent your child from becoming confused at public parks. Now if you are really stuck on baby names you might want to try the site babynamegenie.com. It is really kind of cool and it is even fun for you and mom to see what your alternative names might be. Now if the two of you can't just agree on a baby name then you might want to take your rival baby names and post them on sidetaker.com. This way you can anonymously outsource your baby name conundrum and then when you finally settle on a baby name you simply must subject it to the three dad labs baby stress tests. Daddy Brad: The holler test. For God sake Phineus, out of the street. Daddy Brad: The handshake test. Daddy Clay: Rupert Swarthmore. Nicholas Rupert Swarthmore. Daddy Brad: And finally fifth grade torture test, actual fifth grader optional. Speaker: Joe, Joe Momma. Daddy Clay: How about the name like, Tucker? Speaker: Change the T to F. Daddy Clay: What? Hey, come on that's not appropriate. How do you even know that word? You are not riding the bus to school anymore. Daddy Clay: That's all for the show today. If you have got a really great idea about how to arrive peacefully at a wonderful name for your baby please, go to dadlabs.com and join the conversation there it really is the very best parenting community online, dadlabs.com. Daddy Brad: Thanks to our sponsor, there is only one name for great design and that's Bjorn, Baby Bjorn. Daddy Clay: You know you are sort of expecting, have you thought about the name Bjorn? Daddy Brad: No. Daddy Clay: For daughter. Well get committed buddy. Daddy Brad: That's why we are having the baby.