Jen, experienced in divorce, discusses the process of getting back into the dating scene following your separation. Learn how to get over your divorce and reclaim your life.
Hi, my name is Jen. I had been married and divorced, and I am here to tell you a little bit about what it is like to date after divorce. I will give you some tips on how to make it easier. One if the biggest challenges when you are moving on after having been in a relationship for so long, especially marriage, is reclaiming your life and surroundings and detaching some of the sentimentality to be it objects or places especially for staying this in the same neighborhood or the same apartment. I suggest that you do that as soon as possible, go back to the restaurants that you use to go to together. And, go ahead and start a new life there, bring in a friend, or a date, or something. But, you have got to let go of that wait. It is good to go to new places, not just the places that you have been before. Get someone to take you out, do not be afraid of being casual either. You know, you want to be able to be comfortable, but it is also a great feeling to look at yourself dressed up and you know, feel special. Once the relationship is over, you do not want to spend all your time talking about it. There is going to be a healing process, you want to lean on your friends for a little while but then you got to move on. And, meeting new people, dating is going to help you learn new things, meet new people. It does not have to be a replacement, you do not have to go out and find the next person to marry you right away. Just go out and have a good time, you will learn about other people, you will learn about yourself too. Now, if you have been in a relationship with the same person for a long time, you have not dated in a while. You do need to be patient with yourself a little bit because things have changed and you are going to learn the whole new way of relating with people. And, as far as being physical, you want to go out; you want to have a good time, definitely allow yourself to do that but, be safe and be careful. Another great tip is ‘books’, there are a lot of self help books out there and do not be intimidated by that. Do not be afraid to explore, educate yourself, this is suppose to be fun, this is not a punishment. And again, you are not trying to replace the person that you have been with. You are going out to meet people and have a good time, learn about yourself. There are a lot of great resources out there if you just getting your feet while trying to get back into the dating scene. There is online dating, there is singles parties. So remember this new face in your life is supposed to be fun. Pamper yourself, get dressed up, go out and meet new people and look out on this great new adventure.