Description

In this video, a group of dads discuss how money becomes an important issue when having babies.

Transcript

Chris Brooks: It was always scary thing for me when Carla said she was pregnant. It was that -- the responsibility, the financial issue, it's like because all of a sudden I'm the Bread Winner and which luckily I was in a good job and the stress of that and when I first had a baby when I was 21, I wasn't working, I was trying to break into radio and I was doing a lot some - radio in monetary way and that was very scary, but even this time, even in a secured job you still find yourself worrying and thinking, what if this job doesn't work out, than what I'm going to do, and the panic that sets in. Damino Queva: I totally agree. It's a tremendous motivator because you can't line your levels basic - I mean you have to say hold on a second, whatever it takes extra hours or whatever else but that initial thought is I am really going to have to buckle down. I remember that that was a favorite line, particularly -- and forever sort of thing. It's not like not for like six months or something, it's like you know how long you're going to support child forward, 25 years. Kevin Day: I think with hindsight we really underestimated the potential financial problems. I mean it was something we talked about but initially -- my initial reaction was in a sense how expensive going to baby be? I mean that is it can't be that much. Is she breast feeding? So that's another we have to buy food first. Yeah it really didn't occur to me how -- the accumulated cost would be? It was - it cost me about three dollars. We had periods before and suddenly I'm been working for a couple of -- So we had some experience of it's allowed to rein ourselves in when money was -- it didn't occur to me (a) how much expensive a baby would be and (b) loosing one income for essentially two years. It was nightmare and then at 6 months you know it was really in because it will send out even -- I was in the situation where I couldn't turn down any work. So I was doing jobs, I wouldn't normally have done which was making me unhappy, which meant I was a -- longer than I wanted to be -- for anyway but had to do it because we needed the money. You know if you free lance you've got couple weeks for that money. It's very difficult. Chris Brooks: So you're taking gigs or jobs that you would normally wouldn't do. Kevin Day: Yeah, exactly. I mean it's the small gigs I wouldn't normally do, that people wouldn't even price for -- so presenting -- I wouldn't want to do, stuff that didn't fulfill me artistically which before I had the financial freedom so that I didn't need to do that. Now, you found yourself saying well I'll go, do it. I mean thank god for satellite TV at the time because it's keeping you the - but there were times when it's been free lances. It's fantastic in one sense because it means there is somebody home all the time, when Ed was a bit older, I don't see he realizes quite lucky eh was. Sometimes both parents are home during days, one of us is always around. But the financial strain, it was terrible because financial strain is one thing that really puts strain on the marriage anyway because you got a new baby and you both worried about money coming because it's also they're in - you know it's like you could do that as well, you might not get paid for it. So you're about to tell me if the money comes in it's gone to that anyway so it put an enormous stress on this and it's something that we really underestimated. It didn't occur to be that much of problem. Jonathan Wills: We see these before probably in newspapers would say that between the ages of 9 and 12 of your child because you're quarter of million. We can't possibly, can we? And actually right and it's for me it was with the nappies thing, was that it's a stupid thing, isn't it, but actually they if we just get rid of the nappies bill, we'll we're trying to getting out nappies about [Voice Overlap] Kevin Day: You're absolutely right. You've seen before and I used to think well that must be somebody who is sending free kids to private schools who has got nannies and all sort of stuff. It was a the 18th day and where is the money going? Where is the money going? We're not buying baby food, I know we've got bike and of course, and of course you go and buy new clothes every three months and you don't want to get cheap stuff. Damino Queva: It's amazing how quickly they grow out of their clothes, often they have to change outfits. Jonathan Wills: Yeah the flip side is always interesting because now, we've got to this stage and where you know yes we've tighten the belt and I take Sam just to work sometimes but we know things are tight unless -- and actually the other thing is trying sum how much money we've wasted as well in the past. So yes if there is a real financial strain don't get me wrong do they have the part of it actually. God! We chucked some money away on rubbish over the years and actually it is possible in some respects to find some extra cash if you work harder there. Damino Queva: I think if you now look forward as well it seems like it's not just children or babies and the expense, it's the expense in carryover to when they're 16-17 and they start to go to university. They are hooking up such of debt that and now to get each -- I've been thinking about getting much -- property later from the - about 6-years old because I know that if being in that position right now it's impossible, absolutely impossible. My goodness in another 10 years time how the hell is my eldest child is going to -- Kevin Day: Yes he doesn't want to leave the home. [Cross talk] That's interesting because that's something it hadn't occurred to me you are absolutely right. It's annoying so it's supposed for spending several times we're going to be thinking about of the university or moving away. Damino Queva: If it occurred me about 2-3 years ago with this property boom and property gain well, how the hell is tomorrow I'm going to be able to afford a property and so for long time shouldn't have been talking about -- just at the right moment when she leaves school that she has something that she can pull away, that's her as kind of thing. Well, again I think either way she is going to how much say in 10 years time to give her deposit or so I'm going to be under pressure either way. So it was kind of poor way some of way can pull away 20 or 50 quid these days. [cross talk] You know it's funny enough is about continuing that kind of because that's how we should let go our child if you like private education, private education is expensive but we removed paying for nannies and things like that and child care. It was kind of a natural progression with out first child so we used that money, put into the private-- We're just carrying the budget for that. That was an idea until he kind of tells me that actually you know state school is -- Kevin Day: It's not about that biggest bugs is especially when it was a baby, it's just why you call the whole nappy come because you said -- you've decided nappy for three months [cross talk] You just watched and you do have enough your mother being watched and put the nappy on. So this whole business of -- it's cost you at least cost you £ 25-30 a week just not numerically. I mean that is just not from ecological point of view, it's just too it's actually pretty expensive. This is ridiculous and there is nothing you can do. You can kind of have - you can't buy second hand well you have to pay the price in the super market. Damino Queva: And the Terry Nappie these are very you can finally -- they're not cheap to buy anyway but long terms and it does. It's more labor intensive. So therefore as we know we're living a day and night where is everything is microwave and cooking them. Kevin Day: I think the cost of baby cloths. I sound -- I know that but it's a complete disgrace. It's a con. [Cross talk] Chris Brooks: I found Bob going second year secondary school now and a three month of your baby. So I mean they both- Kevin Day: What does price to go with baby shopping for clothes in order you want to go to the nice stores. I would say how on the earth can rumpled suit for him cost as much as a suit it's costing for me. It's also means about these game clothes are not over- Jonathan Wills: Because it actually I have three siblings together and three girls. I would say please another girl. The youngest one actually, it's there is but it's really sort of dynamic between our three actually, between sort of the top one of the head character and the bottom, I think that people mention this sort of middle child's syndrome that we've got under. Eve our middle one is definitely got that. She is not sure who the best friend is. She is fighting just here and there and so there is a -you have to be really sort of -and as we get make sure that they have something which is their own its fine. But the other thing I was wondering was well on the tendency to the finance. Does anyone-the decision we made when we had the third one as well as to me that at London just to give them bit more -- you're looking as I have a four or five Kent house in London. There is no way e could afford and that thing was sort of half day and she said we made the move out of London, we moved out to down to Kent which has been great to the girls great for the kids. They've really enjoyed it but you talk about sort of financial strain again but now you know I'm coming back up to London and its there is this sort of the disbalance isn't there between getting it right. Damino Queva: There is it's amazing to do because we've done some other thing. We're scratching moved out to Kent ourselves and in that way to give the more space and new look for better life. It's amazing how much you have to look forward to the future in order to justify some of the things and even when you-I remember when my wife was pregnant she suddenly got free dental, prescription and then you suddenly oh! That's wonderful. What a great help, milk free for year. That's how the things were. All those - they just about to just come in handy.